Such a simple world ‘jealousy’ and yet it carries such a heavy emotional attachment with it. Any number of things can make us jealous and even though it is part of the normal set of human emotions we feel that it is somehow wrong to express it.
Jealousy is an emotion that needs to be kept in check, of course it is, but in order to be able to do that you need to have an understanding of where the feeling is coming from, what is driving it. There will always be things in your life that continue to prompt the emotion, but once you have an understanding of the emotion itself you will be in a much better position to control it.
Where Is Your Jealousy Coming From?
You know what jealousy feels like, you can recognise the way you feel and give it that label. Once you feel that first wave of jealousy hit you it is your job to stop those feelings in their tracks before they totally overcome you, and ask yourself just why is it that you are feeling the way you do? Has your sense of self esteem been attacked? Do you have a valid reason for feeling the way you do? If you do have self esteem issues, jealousy will not be doing anything to help you; over time it can be incredible damaging to your sense of self worth, this is why you need to work on stopping those feelings now, conquering them through understanding them.
Work Out the Cause
Discovering where your jealous feelings are stemming from is only part of the process, once you have an understanding of where they are coming from you then need to work out why. For example if you have worked out that you start feeling jealous whenever your partner talks to a member of the opposite sex, you need to work out why this makes you jealous. Did something happen in a previous relationship? Were you betrayed? Are you fearful of history repeating itself? If this is the case you need to work out why this fear is there. Could it be that your self esteem has been knocked back to a point where you are feeling more vulnerable? Is it because you are feeling unworthy?
As you can see there are a lot of questions that you need at be asking yourself. It will take a great deal of soul searching and self analysis before you can conquer your jealousy. On a positive note acknowledging and accepting the emotions that jealousy brings with it, is a great first step.
The Next Step
Once you have an understanding of where the feelings are coming from and the fears that are feeding those feelings, it is time to focus on keeping those feelings under control. If you have found that your jealousy is related to feelings about your partner, then it is time for you both to sit down and talk some things through. There is no shame in talking about your feelings; we all need to be able to express ourselves openly and honestly. You can be sure that they too want to understand why you react in certain ways to specific situations, and if they really do care about you they will listen and help you find ways of overcoming those negative feelings.
A Lengthy Process
It will take time for you to be able to get all of your feelings and responses under control. The time it will take will depend on a number of factors like the reasons driving those jealous feelings. For example if the jealousy stems from having a partner who flirts, then putting an end to that behaviour will mean your feelings will be easier to overcome than someone whose jealousy stems from a much more deeply rooted cause.
Often women can become very jealous of each other, either of their body shape, their career success or their relationships. This type of jealousy takes longer to get under control as the individual needs to spend a lot of time and energy working on their own self worth and lifestyle choices. Educating yourself on how to control those jealous feelings now will have a great influence on how you react to similar situations in the future.
Steps to Remember
In order to stay on the right track, and keep your jealousy under firm control, bear in mind the following steps:
• Acknowledge and accept those jealous feelings for what they are.
• Ask yourself questions and discover where the jealousy is coming from.
• Ask yourself why it provokes such a response.
• Make positive changes to help you combat those feelings.
• Practice the steps until it become second nature.
Providing that you keep these steps in your mind, and follow them through when the need arises, you will be in control of your jealousy; it will no longer be in control of you. The last step on the list is probably the most important one of all, practice! The more you practice control over these negative emotions the easier it will become.