Taking a Break in Your Relationship – Does it Really Help?

There are some relationships that can at times feel quite claustrophobic, and the time comes when one of you feels the need for a little space, just a small break from living in each other’s shadow, believing that the break will do them the world of good. But does it? Does time apart from each other actually work towards strengthening the relationship or is it in reality an avoidance tactic? A way of walking away from your problems instead of facing them head on, which will still be waiting for you when you get back. Just because you have walked away from them they are not going to go away.

A Break Is Not a Quick Fix

Of course relationships vary from couple to couple and no two relationships operate in the same way. What is important in every relationship though, is that both individuals recognise the time you spend away from each other does not make your problems disappear, it just gives you time to think about them from a distance; they will still be there, with anything additional you may have come up with while you were apart.

It is important that you bring your relationship problems out into the open before you make plans for your break. When one partner asks for a break it can leave the other feeling very insecure and just a little bit paranoid about what their partner is either thinking or planning, there is the fear that they will not come back to the relationship or that things will never be the same again. While it is always possible for them to decide to call an end to the relationship while you are apart, you should not be fearful of the break; because if that was the way the relationship was headed you would have broken up soon anyway.

Rediscover Just Who You Are

People can occasionally lose themselves in a relationship, bending so much to the will and desires of the other that they start to forget just who they really are. When a relationship is lived this way it is normal for resentments to build and for the individual to feel stressed and resentment that they are not being appreciated for just who they are. Every relationship is built on compromise in order to keep things balanced and part of compromising is that you have to either reign in a part of your personality or say goodbye or let go of something in order to please the other person.

In some relationships this can become one sided and the person making all of the compromises can end up feeling lost. It is true that some relationships run so deep that all of the attention is focussed on the happiness of the other and the individuals lose sight of who they are. All of these things allow resentment to build and can end up leaving the relationship feeling a little claustrophobic and smothering, and time apart is required to allow you to rediscover your true self.

Take it Slowly and Start Again

When a relationship begins the excitement can make things move so fast that partners can feel pressurised and scared at the rate at which things are developing, in which case a break will help allow the individuals in the relationship to catch their breath and reassess that what they are entering into is what they actually want. In this case the break apart can actually benefit you both as it will allow you both to gather your thoughts and put you in a better position when you get back together again, knowing what you need to make a healthy and balanced relationship, paying attention to the right things, not just all of the needs of the other person.

If you are fearful of the relationship ending during your break then what you need to realise is that if the thought was already in your head, then it is highly likely that you would have broken up anyway, not just because of the break itself but from underlying issues. Don’t be afraid of what you have no control over, what will be, will be. Remember to stay calm and balanced, remember who you are. You both need to be true to who you are and your relationship will benefit from the honesty.

After the break, get back to getting to know each other again. Sometimes when a relationship moves too quickly this stage can be overlooked, and in reality the more you know and understand about each other the better your long term relationship will be. Building a long term relationship requires commitment from both sides in order for it to succeed, without balance and equality within the partnership there will be no future, only resentment and mistrust.

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