Sometimes the timing of events in our lives can seem to conspire against us, we go for months without having any romantic involvement at all and then just like buses, two guys come along at once and sweep us off our feet.
While at first these relationships are nothing too serious it doesn’t take long for the situation to arise when we have to make the decision of which one we are going to let go and which one we are going to try for the serious relationship with. It’s not an easy decision after all if we hadn’t been attracted to both of them, they both hadn’t appealed to everything we look for in a partner we wouldn’t be in this situation. It’s knowing how to make that decision and committing to your choice that is the hardest part of all.
Weighing up the Pros and Cons
It can be all too simple to follow your first impulse and pick the guy to whom you are the most physically attracted, but is that really what you want to base the rest of your future relationship on? Instead you need to think rationally and objectively about what you what from you relationship and see which of the guys is more likely to provide you with the relationship that you want. It might sound a bit basic, but you really need to sit down with a pen and paper and make a list of the good points and the not so good characteristics of each of them, and compare these to your list of criteria for meeting your relationship requirements.
Whichever of the two guys meets most of the criteria that you are looking for is the one for you. Don’t just match off what they do have against your list; match them in order of importance too. Once you have matched them on their good point, draw up another list of things that you absolutely do not want in your relationship and compare them again. Compare all of the notes that you have against what your ideal relationship would be and you may find that you have everything you need to make a decision.
Pay Attention to Your Heart
Of course it does seem a bit heartless to base your decision on a cold list of pros and cons; you must also listen to your heart, and take how you really and deeply feel about each guy into consideration. They will probably both make your heart flutter, albeit in different ways. If a kiss from each of them can make you feel weak at the knees and just seeing them gets your heart racing, you need to decide just how much of this is based on lust, and how much on a deeper connection and attraction. Work out which one of them you feel more comfortable with, are happier just to spend time with without it having to be on a date or out somewhere special, which one makes you truly happy? Whoever you choose should make you feel safe and secure when you are with them, if you have any doubts about their sincerity or they give of signals that trigger warning signs that he is not being entirely honest then he is not the one to choose.
How to Avoid Picking the Wrong Guy
Providing that you have worked through the steps above and listened to your heart and your intuition you should be at the point of making your decision, but be honest with yourself. If you worked through the criteria of what you want in a long term relationship and neither of them really matched up, it could be time that you walked away from both of them and found someone that is really right for you. When you are making your choice between the two you should also be aware of the reasons why you are not picking one guy when you are selecting the other. For example, you should never choose a guy who you think is ‘good for you’ and that being in a relationship will somehow work out even though you really don’t have the right feelings towards him.
You should never pick the guy that has the most money to spend either, a selfish choice like that is just asking for trouble. Never make your decision by using only sex as your basis for making a decision; it takes more than just the physical aspect of a relationship to make it work long term. Don’t rely on what your friends and family think, after all they do not know him as well as you do, and they are the not the ones that are going to be in the relationship with him. Finally, you should never feel pressured to commit to a relationship until you are ready for it yourself.