It is easy to get flustered and caught up in the excitement of the moment when your partner proposes, even if he doesn’t actually get down on one knee to do it. If you are proposed to in front of other people, for example during a romantic meal or at a family gathering the sense of expectation in the air and the pressure that you feel to say yes can be quite hard to ignore. But before you give your answer take a deep breath and take a second to make sure that the answer you give is the right one, after all this is probably the biggest and most life changing decision that you will have to make, and you need to be positive that you are doing the right thing.
Are You More in Love With the Idea of Marriage Than the Man Himself?
Many women have dreamt of their wedding day from being little girls and have spent years deciding on the perfect dress, the color scheme and how many tiers that the cake will have! It is all too easy to be caught up in the moment with the thrill of the planning and organizing that you can lose focus on the bigger picture, your commitment to spend the rest of your life with this man. So take a look at the reasoning for response to one of the most important questions that you will ever be asked in your life. Before you commit yourself to sharing your life with another you need to know just who you are in order to be able to make the sacrifices that both partners in a committed relationship are required to make in order to provide unwavering love and support to each other.
Look to the Future
Before he popped the question had the pair of you discussed the possibility of marriage? Have you had all of the conversations about where you see your life heading in the future as a couple? Have you discussed where you will live, career options and the prospects of having a family together? If not, how can you be sure that he has put any thought into his proposal at all and it’s not just a spur of the moment decision? Before you answer that important question it is important that you have those conversations as soon as possible. You need to be sure that your future visions match up with each other and you both see your future together in the same way. You need to listen attentively to each other to ensure that you are both on the same page as far as your marriage is concerned.
Are You Sure He Is ‘The One’
When he holds you in his arms do you feel weak at the knees, even though you have been together for some time? When you are with him do you feel as though you are the luckiest girl in the world? Are those feelings still there even after you have been together for a couple of years? Have you spent time together without doing anything special, just getting through the day together, lounging in your pajamas and vegetating in front of the television? Or has all of the time you have spent together been focused around day trips and romantic meals?
In order to be able to commit to spend the rest of your lives together you need to know that you can cope with the mundane routine of everyday life, and that you can cope with being in each other’s company for extended periods of time. Some couples find spending extended periods of time together hard and it causes a lot of stress on the relationship, often forcing them apart. Of course there is no ‘perfect man’ but you need to be sure that the man you have chosen is perfect for you.
In Sickness and in Health
The more you think about the long term commitment of marriage does the idea of accepting his proposal lose its appeal? Are you sure that between you, as a couple you will be able to navigate the bumps and troughs that every relationship goes through. Will you still be looking forward to coming home to each other after a day at work ten or twenty years down the line. Are you in the kind of relationship where you can talk your problems through with each other?
Unless you can commit to open and honest communication from the very start of your relationship there is very little chance that you will have a lasting marriage. Spend as much time as you need deciding on your answer to his marriage proposal, and ignore any pressure that is placed upon you to give your decision. This is your future, your life and you need to be sure that the man you marry is the right one for you so that you can look forward to a long and happy lifetime of love and mutual understanding.