Ultimately humans are just highly evolved primates. While we might dress in sharp clothes, construct buildings, and organize ourselves with politics and businesses, ultimately our behaviour is still dictated by the very same hormones and drives that guided us in the wild.
One way this can be seen is in pack behaviour – and the way we work in a group is still very much like the way that other primates do. We can observe this for instance in the way that an alpha male will emerge in a group of men who the others will look up to and generally follow, and who will generally be the most successful with women and enjoy other perks. Leadership can be organized, but unlike electing a manager in an office, the alpha male emerges regardless of other social structures and will generally hold the main power. A hierarchy is created based on ‘maleness’ that the whole group responds to.
This also extends outside of groups, and when you meet another man, a power balance will always be established within the first few minutes of contact as unconscious cues result in one person becoming the dominant individual. In this sense we can all be alpha males in the right circumstances and the question really is who is the most alpha and this will dictate who gets the most respect, who makes the decisions and who wins most disputes. So the question is, can you increase your alpha?
How to Become More Alpha Male
Much of what makes someone an alpha male or otherwise can be traced back to our evolution, and generally the person who will emerge as the dominant male will be the one who has the best genetics, who is the smartest and who is the most physically powerful.
Though this is all unconscious and we aren’t actually consciously sizing each other up to decide who would win in a fight. This relies on subtle clues that we wouldn’t even necessarily register, but which alter the way we see others. And the good news is that when you know what those are, it becomes possible to ‘fake’ them and send the same signals even though you might not technically be the physically superior.
So what are these unconscious signals and how precisely can you go about faking them? Read on to become more alpha male…
A mistake that people regularly make when they are trying to improve their social standing is to conform and act more like the other members of their group. By acting more like the other people in their group they hope to be more accepted and taken more seriously, but in fact what they are doing is sending a signal that they are subordinate. The fact is that if you act like someone else, you are demonstrating that they set the trends and that you’re desperate for acceptance.
Rather, if you act differently then this demonstrates confidence because you aren’t controlled by social norms. And if you are different in the right way, then others will emulate you because they see you as a good example and this will bring about a small shift in the power balance. Of course this doesn’t mean you should wear a fish on your head and hope it catches on as a fashion though – you need to be different in a way that’s logical and that will also look good. Followers, by definition, cannot be leaders.
Be Physically More Imposing
Being physically imposing enables you to establish yourself as the alpha male in a lot of groups before you’ve even opened your mouth. This way you are displaying health and vitality as well as power which means others will turn to you to solve disputes and will not want to go against what you say.
If you’re currently very much not physically imposing then there are ways that you can beef yourself up. One is to work out and if you build yourself larger muscles you’ll be taken more seriously as you start to simply occupy more space. You can also create this sense of power by wearing large jackets and coats that make you appear wider – remember this is an unconscious effect so it will still register as strength.
Another great way to get taken more seriously is to be taller. This is something that you can’t really train, but what you can do is to wear shoes that will give you a height boost – or even add in height increasing insoles. There are all kinds of other reasons to do this too whether you’re trying to pull or trying to ace an interview – I’m not ashamed to admit I have some in right now.
If you are too good natured then unfortunately you will never become the alpha male and will instead be the butt of jokes and the person that people think they can push. If you have an aggressive edge conversely, you’ll be able to pose more of a physical threat, and at the same time you’ll indicate that you have more testosterone which as a man puts you at a genetic advantage.
Surely you don’t want to become an unpleasant person and be unnecessarily hostile – doing so will only lose you friends and play on your conscience and is not the same as being an alpha male. Rather then, just try to develop the confidence to be less apologetic and try to draw a line where you stop being good natured.
At the same time you can also send a couple of signals to indicate aggression without actually being aggressive. One for instance is simply to speak more loudly and deeply which will also make you more commanding. And you can increase testosterone partly by working out and altering your diet/using supplements.
Remember too that once you understand how to send out these signals you can choose to turn them ‘on’ and ‘off’ as you wish; thus meaning you can be more relaxed and humble when you’re with a group of your close friends or family, but then turn up the alpha when you’re trying to return a faulty product, or navigate office politics.