Relationships come and go like the tides, and most of us will go through at least a few breakups before we finally find ‘the one’ who we end up staying with. This is all perfectly natural, but it can lead to us second guessing each new relationship we’re in as we wonder whether this is going to be another short lived one, or whether it really has the legs to go the distance…
It’s impossible to know for certain, and there are any number of factors that can contribute to a relationship working out or not (including luck). Nevertheless though, there are also a good number of different indicators and signs that can help to give us a bit of a clue and also to perhaps show us where any weaknesses may lie.
Here are some of the top signs that your relationship is going to last. We’re all different, but you find that you can’t relate to any of these, then you may want to try and make some changes to help give your relationship more of a fighting chance.
You Go to Bed Together
Couples who sleep near each other are statistically more likely to stay together. Other studies have also shown that sleeping together naked will help bring you even closer (the Independent wrote about it here). While you might not want to go to bed at the same time as your partner all the time (perhaps there’s something good on the TV, or you just aren’t tired yet), making the effort will help to bring you closer and will ensure that you are also at similar levels of energy throughout the remainder of the day.
You Have Occasional Arguments
Many people think that arguing is a sign that a relationship isn’t strong. Actually though the precise opposite is often true. Obviously you shouldn’t be constantly at each other’s throats, but if you don’t feel confident enough to be able to let your partner know when something is bothering you, the chances are that it is only going to ‘fester’ under the surface until it eventually comes out as a huge argument. And it’s often those kinds of arguments that have been bottled up for a long time that end up leading to a breakup.
You Are Happy Spending Time Apart
Again, sometimes the signs of a healthy relationship can be counterintuitive. For instance you’d think it would be a good sign if a couple were never apart. In reality though this couldn’t be further from the truth: if you can’t spend any time apart then eventually one of you is likely to feel smothered, or you will end up running out of things to talk about. In order for a couple to last, they need to be able to function independently and together.
Your Social Networks Have Integrated
It’s not completely a requirement that you get on with your partner’s best friend/sister, but if you do then it will be a huge help in keeping you together. The strongest couples are often supported by their friends and family to the point where they become ‘integrated’ into each other’s lives to a strong extent. And apart from anything else, it’s a very good sign if the people you care about and whose opinions you value all agree that you have made a good choice with your current partner. If they seem distant and weary of them, then you might want to ask yourself why that could be.
You Have Compatible Goals and Dreams
Again this isn’t essential – and in fact no item on this list is – but if your goals and dreams are at least compatible and you have spoken to each other openly about them, then this will give you a much better chance of staying together.
The big differences that often end up driving couples apart include things like not agreeing on where you’re going to live, having very different ideas about having children, or having incompatible career plans. Often there will be a compromise you can reach, but you need to discuss this early on to avoid heartache further down the line.