Chatting up members of the opposite sex is sadly one of the most difficult and nerve racking things we have to do on a regular basis. Part of the reason for this is that people are difficult to read and it’s hard to know if your attempts to woo an individual are being warmly received or falling on deaf ears. If you could spot the signs of attraction easily and be able to tell who was interested and who wasn’t, then it would all be a lot easier and you could make the whole process of attracting members of the opposite sex a lot easier. Here we will look at precisely what those signs of attraction are and how to tell if someone digs you or not.
They use your name a lot: It’s an old flirtatious technique to use someone’s name a lot and it’s also something that we do naturally to an extent when we’re ‘interested’. This is a good tip in general – anything that you have heard of as being advice on how to flirt can be a sign that someone is interested and has so decided to use those techniques on you.
Smiling more: If someone seems to smile at you a lot then this is a sign that they like you certainly and possibly that they fancy you. Try and see which kind of smile it looks like, if it seems very genuine and warm then it may be that they have a crush.
Touching: ‘Accidental touching’ is another flirting technique that we are taught in books and magazines. It is again though also one that people will do naturally to an extent, and you shall probably notice that someone interested does touch you on the shoulder or slap your arm playfully.
Holding eye contact: The best way to tell that someone likes you is probably their eye contact. When you are talking to them you may notice that they hold your gaze more intently than before and that it seems to be quite a deep stare.
Dilating pupils: When we look at someone we fancy our eyes natural dilate and this can tell us that they’re interested – or it’s getting dark.
Flushing: We also tend to flush to an extent when we fancy someone – our cheeks may redden as well as our lips. The muscles also sometimes harden, though signs like this are very subtle and so very difficult to spot.
Complimenting: It’s a well known fact that we compliment those we fancy – because we generally think they’re amazing. Try putting yourself down (‘nobody fancies me… ‘) and see what their reaction is. If it seems overly emphatic then you might be on to something.
Going out of their way to be with you: Again, think how you act when you want to be with someone. If you say you’re going somewhere then they might try and find an excuse to go with you, and you might notice them around more often than before (only really works if you know this person sociably beforehand).
Teasing: This is almost a ‘defence mechanism’. It may well be that we tease the people we fancy to ensure that they can’t tell we fancy them, or to try not to come across as needy (when really we do feel like we need them). Playful teasing is one of the most common signs of some kind of sexual tension too and there’s a fine line between playful scolding and passionate snogging.
Staring: Remember at school when you used to stare across the class at the guy or girl that you fancied? Well there’s a chance that people are doing that to you right now. Unfortunately it’s hard to tell if someone is staring at you without looking as though you are staring at them. Fortunately there is a good technique you can use. Simply check the time on your watch and then look to see if they do – when we see someone else check the time it is almost an impossible impulse not to do so ourselves.
Laughing at jokes: It’s an old one, but it still rings true – if you tell a joke and one member of the opposite sex seems to throw their head back in abandon and let out a haughty laugh, then they may well be a bit sweet on you. You may be genuinely funny of course though…
Obviously none of these signs on their own point to someone fancying, but rather a few together might be more of a clue. At the same time though it’s easy to read too much into anything, more likely you will just get the impression that someone likes you and in these cases you are normally picking up on the signs unconsciously which we tend to be more accurate at doing. Unfortunately most of the time we seem unable to believe that we are genuinely fancied and so we make excuses and remain afraid to ‘make a move’. The best advice is not to analyse too careful, but to act on impact. Seize the day!