There are plenty of advices on tackling your inner ‘monsters’, improving self esteem and building your confidence, but what if, you are the problem?
What if there’s nothing you like about yourself? You need to get used to the fact that you can’t become someone else, you are stuck with yourself! Regardless of the fact that you can dye your hair, fake tan, or even have a major plastic surgery, you’re still the same person inside. That’s why many people still feel depressed, heavy and hollow after trying to reinvent themselves.
How to Stop Hating Yourself?
Fortunately, there are ways to change the way you feel about the ‘inner you’. Many people hate themselves at some point in their lives. Your first step is to know about yourself more and accept the facts. It’s plain and simple, if you accept, appreciate and like yourself, you won’t be depressed. You’re stuck with yourself, no matter whether you like it or not, so you should find ways to stop hating yourself. By following these methods, you can more easily reconnect with yourself.
Identify your negatives
That’s right; you should make a list of everything you hate about yourself. Try to be honest.
After you make a complete list, read it again. You should cross items that are influenced by other people, for example negative remarks about your emotions, personality and appearance. Your list should include things that you genuinely hate about yourself, not what other people think or said about you.
Identify the actual root issues
Re-examine the remaining items in your list. Try to analyze where each one comes from and why you consider them as the truth. Again, you need to make those “whys” are your personal thought, uninfluenced by others’ opinions. From the root issues, make one negative statement on each item.
This the moment of truth! Try to neutralize your personal thoughts. For example if you hate your nose, try to be specific; is it the shape or the size? You can find a solution, for example, some make-up tips can make your nose looks better. You may also change your negative thoughts with counteractions or affirmations, for example, “My nose is too wide, but my eyes look great” (counteraction) or “I accept my nose is a little wide, but it is an uniqueness that I fully accept” (affirmation).
Add positive statements
Next to a negative statement in the list, add 2 or 3 positive statements (counteractions and affirmatives). These statements should be composed carefully to neutralize the corresponding negative statement.
Regularly make a new list
Make a new list each week, although the number of items may not change, you should focus on the negative statements. It is likely that your opinions are less negative; you should still consider this an improvement. Learning to stop hating yourself does take time.
After you’re finished with your list, each item in your list should contain:
1. Thing you don’t like about yourself.
2. A statement that explains your negative thought.
3. Three or four positive statements that can neutralize the negative statement.
You should read and update the list regularly, if you can’t reduce the number of items, at least you can reduce the intensity of the negative statement. Add more positive statement if necessary, sticks it next to your toothbrush, by the or on the fridge. It should remind how special you are.
The more you read and update the list, the more effective it will be. You should continuously try to reacquaint with the inner you. You will start to feel more positive and don’t be surprised when people also start to notice your improvements. Of course, this will take some amount of effort on your part, but you’ll feel a lot better about yourself.
How to Love Yourself?
We are not born perfect, nobody is. Even so there are many things you can do to make your life much better than what is currently felt and experienced by most people. People who are happy with themselves are never depressed. After you remove all negative thoughts, your works is not exactly completed. As you’re now in a neutral state, it’s important to take one step further by filling yourself with positive energy, which helps you to love yourself and avoid depression effectively.
Make yourself over
Hang out with a few close friends and you can get all dolled up. Get your hair done, dab on some make-up and put on your bet attire, then ask a friend to snap a few funny and fun photographs of each of you. Once those photos are printed, choose only shots where you look the best and discard those that make you appear a little drab. Because, you no longer need the list mentioned in the previous section, you can replace it with your best photographs. Regularly look at the picture to remind how good-looking and attractive you’re. Life is fun and exciting, enjoy it.
Get physically fit
Of course, it is unnecessary to achieve a model-like physique. But you should do regular exercises to boost your heart, bloodstream and brain each morning. You’ll be more congenial with people around you and your mood will be more positive. Regular exercise can generate positive energy and fill you with confidence. As the result, people are more likely to return some positives vibes to you.
Give yourself a compliment
Do this at least three times each day, during the lunch, when you arrive at your home and before you go to sleep. A compliment can be superficial or deep, whatever it is, it will help to improve your mood, even if only a little. Highlight positive aspects you experience during the day. If you make this a habit, you can do it easily no matter how rough how your day is.
Change your body image
Even if you no longer hate your unfavorable physical attributes, you should always find ways to improve it. Chances are the real reasons are very superficial and shallow.
Set aside enough time each week to do something you like. It could be anything from walking on the park and watching a movie. Sometimes doing nothing but sleeping and watching TV at Sunday can recharge you for the whole week.
Wear cute and funny undies
This may sound silly or useless, but it works! People who wear cute and amusing knickers are more likely to feel confident when facing other people. Try it and you’ll be surprised!
Make a list of positive points
This is a reverse of the previous section. Start to make a list of things you like about yourself, for example. “I am really good at accounting” or “I have great hair”. Put the list next to photographs you snapped previously, both can be a powerful combination to make your appreciate yourself more.
Ask your close friends to accompany you in a short travel. You can spend the day fishing and have a delicious lunch. Regularly performing an outdoor activity each week can boost your mental energy.
Limit interaction with negative people
Avoid them at all cost or limit your interaction with them. Negative people are easy to identify, they always try to infect people with negative thoughts and they can’t stand the presence of positive people. Don’t let them dampen your mood and don’t try to influence them, most of the time it will only deplete your mental energy with very little result.
Do a good deed
Try to do something good for others. Volunteering at a local homeless shelter or simply helping people who get lost will make you feel much more positive. Seeing people with condition worse than yours can make you feel grateful with what you currently have. Gratitude is a powerful antidote to depression.