Being intimidating is not usually on a person’s list of priorities. However, once in awhile it really does come in handy. Some people are born with personalities which make them intimidating no matter what they do or say while others are milder in spirit and temperament. For these people being intimidating as a result of a situation in which it is called for can be very difficult. The good news is that there are some self help methods in which a meek person can learn to use intimidation when the need arises. The idea is not to learn how to rule with an iron fist or to be a slave driver but to become someone who possesses an air of self confidence that says “I am in control of this situation.”
Become a Mystery
Have you ever met someone who was hard to read or gauge in terms of how he/she was feeling or what he/she was thinking at the moment? This can be quite intimidating. If you want to come across as a bit intimidating the first thing you need to learn is not to wear your emotions and thoughts on your sleeve. Keep quiet unless there is something important to be said. In addition, do not continuously repeat yourself. If you are in a position of authority make it clear the first time you say something that it will be the last. Do not attempt to explain your reasoning for any of the rules or guidelines you set forth for your employees, children or any other group of people in which you have been given some sort of authority over. Obviously, it should go without saying that none of the things you demand of the people you are in authority over should be unreasonable or cruel. Cruelty does not make you look intimidating it just makes people dislike you immensely. You want to get the point across that you will not tolerate certain things but not that you are going to be a dictator who will not bend.
This sounds so cliché but one of the things that really makes a person seem intimidating is the company he/she keeps at social events. When you walk into a room for a party or gathering, you should have the most gorgeous person on your arm. This will make people look up to you in ways that you could never understand. This is why you see so many men and women of power walking about with trophy dates on their arms. This gives you an air of confidence like nothing else. If you are married and your husband or wife will be escorting you to these social events make sure that you both aim to be the best dressed and most well groomed in the room. If this means spending some big bucks on designer clothing that do it. The way you act at the event will also carry a lot of weight. Make sure you act with wit and charm but be sure to keep control of whatever conversations you engage in. It also does not hurt to send a few rounds to some strangers just to show that you can.
Be the Alpha
If you have ever watched an alpha dog then you understand the way he carries himself. He strides proudly appearing to have absolutely no fear. This is the way you want to carry yourself. You are the alpha (pack leader). Nothing is more intimidating than being in the same room with a serious alpha. Dogs cannot speak but they display body language that tells us which position in the pack they have. Keep a strong and tall posture and never walk with your head held low. Always show an air of confidence and keep showing your pearly whites to a minimum. Of course this is not to say that you should walk around looking angry but you do not want to appear to be a goofy sort of clown either. To put it bluntly a poker face is what you want to display whenever possible.
Self Vision Is Important
The way you perceive yourself is also a very important part of being intimidating. You must see yourself as someone that people will look up to and even at times fear. If you have self vision that you are the alpha and that no one can inspire fear in you then you will automatically begin to act in this manner as well. Try doing positive affirmations in the mirror each day. Write down something that you want yourself to believe and say it time and time again in the mirror. For example, “I am a strong and able human being who is capable of making decisions effectively. No one is going to break my will or make me feel weak today.” Doing this will help you to begin to believe these things and it will show in the way you carry yourself through the day.
Being intimidating and being a shrew are not the same things. You do not want to treat people in such a way that they dread seeing your face when you walk through the door. What you want to convey to people is that you are strong and determined and that you have a self confidence that cannot be broken down. Once you establish a personality which sends the signal that you are intimidating then you will notice that people will begin to react differently to you. As long as you can remember not to overdo it or cause people to really dislike you while still respecting your authority, you will have accomplished the method of intimidation.
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