Being in a long term relationship has a lot of benefits and can make life a lot easier and more pleasant in many ways. With a long term partner you will never feel lonely and you’ll be secure in the knowledge that someone is always going to be there for you. This person will know you incredibly well too, meaning that they’ll know how to make you happy and that you’ll get to experience the kind of closeness and intimacy that only comes with time.
While there are lots of benefits to a long term relationship though, there are also benefits to a new relationship – those being the excitement and energy that come only from learning about someone new and discovering them for the first time. There’s a certain passion at the start of a new relationship, which tends to fade with time as you get used to one another and your foibles.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. If you are willing to put a little time and work in, then actually there are many ways you can reignite some of your old passion and make your old relationship zing the way it once did. Here we will look at some tips to help you energise your love life again, even if you’re decades into your relationship.
Remember: Make the Effort
I think most guys are probably guilty of wishing their partners would dress up and seduce them a little more often. We get tired of our partners coming home and slipping into their jogging bottoms and we start to think lustful thoughts about Cameron Diaz who always seems to make an effort. But if you’re like most men then it’s probably also safe to say that this is a somewhat hypocritical stance to take: do you come home and put on a nice shirt and trousers every evening? No, thought not.
Likewise, you might find yourself wishing that you had more chemistry and spark than you do. Whether you’re the man or woman in the relationship you might think back fondly to when you were first dating and you got goose bumps speaking to the other person and wondering if they fancied you. There was an air of mystery, of flirtation and excitement – so where’s it gone? Again, you might want to check your own behaviour, if you tend to come home and complain about work before scratching your buttocks and announcing you’re going to the loo, then you can hardly be surprised if the mystery is gone.
The secret to getting the passion back in your relationship then is first and foremost to put in the effort again. That means trying to dress more attractively and crucially trying to mix up your appearance a little (no matter how attractive you are your partner might not find you as exciting if you’ve looked the exact same for the past decade). Likewise, it means making an effort with your conduct and your routine, it means taking your partner out on dates occasionally, it means leaving out the toilet talk or the moaning and it means being attentive and interested rather than exhausted and sloth-like.
Part of this is simply a matter of improving yourself. If you go on a self-improvement drive by working out, eating healthily and building a more effective daily routine then you will have more energy and focus to turn towards your partner. At the same time, improving yourself will of course make you more attractive to them and it will encourage them to do the same. Often if you have a problem with your relationships the best place to look is inwards…
Bring Back the Flirting
Another thing to remember is to flirt. Flirting is incredibly sexy and a great way to create sexual tension and it doesn’t have to stop once you’ve settled into a relationship. Gently tease your partner and try not to be so ‘available’ all the time (that particularly goes for men!) so that there’s some intrigue and challenge involved again.
Really the point is simple: if you want your relationship to be more like it was at the start, then you should act the way you did back then. That means treating your partner, spoiling them and making an effort, but it also means occasionally flirting, teasing and playing hard to get.