How to Deal With Bitchiness With a Simple and Powerful Response

Bitchiness is a word that describes a very specific type of behaviour that is universally disliked. When someone is bitchy, they tend to be somewhat sarcastic and passive aggressive while trying to make the other person feel small. These aren’t direct attacks, but rather snide remarks about what someone’s wearing, or about the weight that they’ve put on. It might mean answering a request with a mean-spirited barbed comment, or it might mean sarcastically agreeing to something then laughing at you as soon as you turn your back – knowing that you can still hear.

There’s an assumption that this behaviour is somehow innately ‘feminine’, but there’s very little truth to this accusation. In reality men are just as capable of bitchiness as women, it’s just that some – who prefer a more straightforward manner of dealing with things – have no idea how to deal with it.

The Problem With Bitchiness

The problem with bitchiness is that it’s incredibly toxic and hard to combat. Because nothing direct has been said, you can’t really bite the person’s head off without looking like you’re overreacting. In fact, that’s exactly what people want in order to make you look stupid and to further undermine you. Of course you can try being bitchy back, but once you’re on the defence you’ll be at a disadvantage and it’s not worth stooping to their level.

The Quick Solution

So how do you deal with this kind of behaviour? The solution is to make them look stupid instead without lowering yourself. This should be easy: after all, bitchiness is pretty stupid to begin with.

And that should be your weapon. If someone has resorted to making snide comments, then it clearly means that they either feel insecure about themselves or that they have a problem and they’re too afraid to come out and say it. It ultimately boils down to immaturity, so simply call the culprits on that fact. If someone makes some sarcastic comment about your clothes then try simply telling them to ‘grow up’. This will instantly make them look and feel small and show that you don’t care. Another option is to say that: ‘why would I care about your opinion?’. Alternatively, show them for the coward that they clearly are by challenging them to come out and say whatever it is that they’re thinking.

‘If you have a problem with me, then how about you stop being childish and just say it?’

Now watch as they um and ah and try and make excuses for themselves. It’s a rather satisfying feeling…



2 Comments

  1. I really like the idea of this approach; direct and simple. You're letting the offensive person know in a timely manner, that their behavior has been noted and isn't welcome. There is nothing worse than tolerating someone who makes you feel like your very existence gives them the shits. Other more passive approaches that teach compassion and understanding for the difficult person, seem too permissive. I'm definitely going to try this next time someone tries to use bitchy tactics to make me feel small and undervalued. Thanks for writing this helpful article. It made me feel a bit more empowered to deal with rude offensive people.

  2. I am very interested in reading more on this subject. I live with and have to deal with bitchy women daily. I just don't know how to respond to their ugliness.

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Adam Sinicki

Adam Sinicki is a full time writer who spends most of his time in the coffee shops of London. Adam has a BSc in psychology and is an amateur bodybuilder with a couple of competition wins to his name. His other interests are self improvement, general health, transhumanism and brain training. As well as writing for websites and magazines, he also runs his own sites and has published several books and apps on these topics.

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