Wanting to become selfless is a great attribute to strive for and most selfless people are thought of kindly as being wonderful people. To be selfless, you do not need to sell all of your possessions and live the rest of your life in poverty. You just need to change your mindset of how you see yourself and the world around you. You will need to reevaluate your role in society and how you can contribute to society and the lives of others.
Learn to Focus on Others
Most of us spend our entire life thinking of only ourselves, our needs and what we want. Seldom do we take the time to think of others feelings or needs or even how our actions affect other people. If you want to learn to be selfless, the first thing that you must do is change this mindset in yourself. At first, you will need to make a point of putting others first and thinking less of yourself. As time goes on, you will begin to automatically think of others and it will become like second nature to you. People who are selfless do not need someone to tell them what to do to help others, they instinctively know what to do and you too should strive to become like this.
You need to go out of your ways to find ways to change your focus to other people, to be able to see that sometimes their needs are more important than your needs. Be careful not to be taken advantage of though because some people think that selfless people are easy targets. You do not need to allow someone to keep using you over and over in order to be selfless and in fact they may hinder your selfless efforts. These types of people may wear you down so much that you are not good for anyone. Be smart and help those who need the help and will genuinely appreciate it.
Do Good Deeds
A great way to help you learn to be selfless is to start doing good deeds when you see the opportunity open up. You should start doing small deeds for others like holding the door open for the people behind you, help an older person across the street or donate to your favorite charity. The idea is to do these good deeds for both people you know and perfect strangers and just out of the kindness of your heart without expecting anything back in return. By doing these small deeds you will be able to practice how to help other and how to notice when a person is in need of help. You will also be able to see how good it feels to help others and this will likely encourage you to do more.
Once you see how easy it is to do these small good deeds and how good you feel for doing them, you can raise the stakes a little and start doing bigger deeds for people. These can be things like giving someone a ride, buying a homeless man a meal or babysitting for a single mother. A selfless person will help anyone who has a need and they have the ability to help them out. Everyone has gifts and talent and you should try to find deeds that match your specific attributes.
Give to Others
Selfless people are not stingy with their money or material goods and they are able to separate the material things in life from the more important things. A selfless person may give a stranger the coat off of his back because he realizes that he has other coats at home because he sees the need and gives. A selfish person will refuse to part with their coat to help another even if they have several other coats at home. It is these types of daily decisions that really separate the selfless from the selfish and it is these decisions that you must evaluate carefully to help turn yourself into a selfless person.
Every one of us has thousands of opportunities throughout our lifetime to give to others; all that you must do is make the decision to cease the opportunity. This can be giving food to your local food bank, clothes to the thrift shop or money to help various causes. The idea of being selfless is not to consider only yourself and how things will affect you but to see the bigger picture and how things affect everyone around you. This does not mean that you must give up all of your possession like Mother Theresa in order to be selfless; you just need to give without first thinking of your needs.
Volunteer Your Time
Everyone thinks that time is precious and one of the most valuable things that we have. We are all busy with a hectic schedule and it may seem like there is never enough time to get everything you need to do done let alone give your time to someone else. This is why it is considered very selfless when a person is willing to give their time. The ironic thing is that sharing your time with others can also be one of the most rewarding experiences you can ever have. You can volunteer at your church, homeless shelter, food pantry or any other nonprofit organization.
Anyone can write a check out or drop some food off at the food pantry but the experience may feel a little impersonal. But if you spend time helping at the food pantry and getting to know the people this is when real change can happen. This is where you can connect with people who need not just material help but they need to know that someone cares and that they are important. When you give your time, you will make people feel special and important because they too understand how important time is.
Always Show Unconditional Love
One thing that all selfless people have common is that great capacity to love others and to show their love for others. Selfless people do not judge other people and they look at everyone through the same eyes without any stereotypes or prejudice. In fact, they embrace the differences they see in people and consider it a blessing and what makes the world great. They are able to look beyond what other people see and to really look and listen to other people. With this gift of love, selfless people are able to realize when a person is in need and they are able to better determine how best to help them.
If you want to be selfless, you will need to not just understand this type of unconditional love but embrace it and make it part of who you are. You will not be able to give of yourself to others if you are constantly judging them or consider them to be of less importance than you. Start by really listening to people and their story because it will help you understand why they are in the position they are in. You will quickly learn that less unfortunate people are very much like you but they have just had some major setbacks. Once you bond with a person it will make it easier for you to love them.