‘Nobody’s perfect’ is a phrase we hear a lot. It may even be a phrase we say a lot, but while its commonly repeated, this often does very little to make us feel any better when we just flunked an exam or interview, or when we are obsessing over our rather large nose.
At the same time though, there is very little that can come of obsessing over a big nose or ‘wishing’ that we did better in our test. In fact, unfortunately, if we do obsess over a past mistake or failing, then all this will do is to make us more likely to fail again and will make our faults more pronounced to others. The solution is then to simply focus on our strengths rather than our weaknesses which will boost our confidence and help to make us more accomplished individuals all around.
You need then to come to terms with your flaws and mistakes and to move past them if you are going to avoid being defined by them. Here we will look at some ways to accomplish this.
View Mistakes as Lessons
Whenever you make a mistake this will have some negative consequences in the short term – maybe meaning you fail to pass an exam, or perhaps meaning you are left with no job, or your relationship on the rocks. Unfortunately, to quote Shakespeare, what’s done is done and cannot be undone. However the trick is to learn from your mistakes and thus avoid making them again. So instead of punishing yourself just see this as something that will help you to grow more and think about how you can make sure you do better next time – whether it’s through training or simply avoiding making the same mistake.
Know Your Flaws
Knowing you’re flawed is not a weakness, but rather a strength. All of us you see have flaws, but it’s only by recognizing them that we can account for them, better predict outcomes and work to improve them. Denying flaws will only lead us to make the same mistakes time and again, and to appear oblivious to casual observers.
Turn Your Flaws Into Strengths
So you have a big glaring fault that you wouldn’t have chosen – big deal, so does everyone else! In order to move past this though and to work your flaws in your favour, you need to be able to look at them as strengths, or at least as part of the tapestry that makes you who you are. There is no such thing as a completely perfect person, but at the same time if there was they’d be boring and unrelatable. A large nose or pair of ears makes us look human and gives our face character and a unique personality – if you work it correctly it can become part of your charm. Likewise if you are bad with maths then this is something you can joke about with friends and that will make you popular with 90% of the rest of the population – who all also struggle with it.
Find Good Role Models
Whatever your flaws and weaknesses are, there are people out there who have overcome them and succeeded anyway. If you are five foot three and more of an intellectual than a model, then having a role mode who’s a 6 foot God/Goddess is only going to make you feel inadequate. Find then a role model who is more similar to you and has features more like your own and it can help you to come to terms with your flaws. These can be fictional or non-fictional, but note than most of the most interesting and ‘cool’ characters in films and books are the ones with the complex flaws and weaknesses – that’s what makes them so interesting.
See Flaws as Challenges
Life would be pretty boring if life came easily. Any problems you have that you feel are stopping you from becoming what you want to become should be seen as obstacles rather than barriers. If you are smart, if you are persistent, and if you have the right attitude, then you can triumph over adversity and your victory will be all the more impressive. And you may even provide a good example for someone else in a similar situation.
Know That Tastes Vary
What you perceive as flaws is really only in the eye of the beholder and it’s perfectly possible that someone else might see them as what makes you attractive. If you have a physical feature you’re not proud of, then you might still be someone else’s ideal of physical perfection.
Play to Your Strengths and Focus on What Matters
So you’re terrible at meeting new people – does it really matter? So you don’t like your hair – again does it matter? Know your strengths and weaknesses and then play to the strengths by emphasizing your best qualities and choosing careers etc where they are an important asset. And why obsess over one small thing when you’ve got so much going for you? Find out what you think your role is in life, your purpose, and what brings you fulfilment. And then simply don’t worry about the rest.
Do What You Can to Change Things
If you have made a serious mistake then there’s a chance of course that you can amend things. Before you go about coming to terms with what has been done, first go about trying to repair the damage and make things right. So you failed your exam, is there any way you can take it again, or debate the results? Maybe a mistake cannot be undone, but that doesn’t mean necessarily that it may not yet be rectified.