The Lemonade Detox Diet

The lemonade detox diet is one of the worst fad diets ever concocted, which is really saying something when you consider the competition.

You only need to look at the title to see that this is a very misguided diet. The idea that you can fast using any kind of juice drink as a substitute for food is a dangerously incorrect one, while the whole concept of ‘detoxing’ is backed by precisely zero scientific evidence or even theory.

And if you dig deeper and learn what’s actually recommended by this absurd diet, then things only get worse…

The Instructions

Like many of the very worst diets out there, the ‘Lemon Detox Diet’ is a fasting diet. You aren’t allowed to eat any regular food but instead must survive purely on a single weird lemon concoction. That concoction is called ‘The Master Cleanse Organic Lemonade Mixture’ by some. Because why wouldn’t it be? Organic is just one more buzz word that tells people ‘this must be good!’.

The recipe for this drink, that is going to become 100% of your diet, is as follows:

• 2 TBSP of organic fresh squeezed lemon or lime

• 2 TBSP of organic maple syrup (because honey would be too nutritious??)

• 1/10 TSP of organic cayenne pepper

• 10 oz medium hot water

One can only assume that the cayenne pepper is in there to ‘speed up the metabolism’. As is the lemon no doubt. Of course this misses the fact that on so few calories your metabolism is going to be in the gutter and a tiny bit of pepper isn’t going to make a difference. Why isn’t there more pepper? Because that would be disgusting in a lemon drink. More disgusting that is.

Hot water also no doubt ‘forces your body to cool itself down’ (because no one ever thought of drinking a warm beverage before!). And as for the inclusion of syrup versus honey? That’s probably down to the creators spending only approximately two seconds in coming up with this nonsense.

And as though this wasn’t ridiculous enough already, you’re only allowed ten glasses of this stuff a day. It’s not likely that you’ll be gagging for more but seriously… How many calories will that gain you in a day? 600 to be precise.

But wait, the horror is still not over! Not only are you supposed to live off this awful creation and nothing else, you’re also required to start your day with a ‘salt water cleanse’ (presumably because salt is antibacterial? I’m starting to run out of guesses…) which is warm again (to make you vomit??) and then you end the day with laxatives. Not that you’d need laxatives, seeing as the salt and the lack of food mean you’re going to be peeing out your butt all day anyway.

Does It Work?

There’s no denying that you will lose weight on this regime initially. In fact, you’ll also lose skin color too. And probably hair. And the will to live. If the look you’re going for is ‘emaciated mess’ then sure, go for it!

Thing is though, you won’t even lose as much weight as you probably expect to ironically. Salt increases water retention, so far from encouraging your ‘purge’ this regime can actually lead to a little puffiness. What’s more, as with all fad diets, the weight you do lose is going to pile straight back on as soon as you begin eating normally.

Of course you could remain on this diet… It would kill you sure, but you’d lose weight!

This diet will help you to lose weight in the precise same way that getting a serious stomach infection helps you to lose weight. And if you’re the sort of person who would entertain the latter as a genuine weight loss method, then you need help. No seriously.

The Problems

I’ve already gone over several problems with this diet but in case I haven’t been explicit enough…

This diet is incredibly unpleasant meaning you’re unlikely to stick to it. You’ll be hungry all day and dreading your next lemonade master nonsense/salt detox/herbal laxative. You won’t be getting anywhere near enough protein or fat (yes you do need fat) and the same goes for most of the nutrients. You’ll lose weight, but it will all pile right back on immediately after. You’ll retain water and likely go puffy. You’ll be constantly low on energy and miserable. You’ll be eating only simple sugar which is about the most damaging part of our modern diets. Detoxing is a myth.

If you’re looking for a diet that is quick and effective, then please do yourself a favor and consider literally any other diet.

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