When you first start dating someone, in many cases you don’t really know anything about each other at all which can feel quite unusual. During the process of dating then one of the more fun aspects is going through the process of learning things about each other and feeling like you’re really getting to know each other. Once you do you will find that you feel much more comfortable together and that your relationship feels much more natural.
Getting to know someone works on several levels however. Firstly there’s getting to know their likes and dislikes, then there’s getting to know their history and back story, then their views on politics and religion etc, and then there’s getting to know their personality including its little quirks, habits and traits. The questions outlined below then are aimed at finding out about all these things so that you can start to feel as though you’d known them for years.
Questions about their background
What were your parents like?
Who were your childhood heroes?
What were you like as a child?
What schools/colleges/universities did you go to?
What’s the best holiday you’ve ever been on?
What’s your fondest memory?
What’s your worst memory?
Did you have any pets growing up?
Have you ever moved house? Where did you live before?
What’s the most scared you’ve ever been?
What were your favourite programmes as a child?
When did you first start drinking?
What’s the worst you’ve ever broken the law?
How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had previously?
How many people have you had sex with?
What qualifications do you have?
What jobs have you had?
How did you get your current job?
Have you ever lost anyone close to you?
Have you ever been to hospital?
Have you ever had any children?
What’s the most frightened you’ve ever been?
Questions about their views
Are you religious? Which religion? Why/why not?
Do you support a political party?
What do you think of *insert recent news event*?
Who are your role models?
Do you contribute to any charities? (high chance of a lie here…)
If you were prime minister/president what would you change?
Do you see yourself with children one day?
Questions about their personality
What’s your ‘happy place’?
Do you have any unusual habits?
Would you consider yourself anally retentive?
What do you do with your spare time?
What’s your best friend like? (you’d be surprised how much this can tell you about a person)
What do you think makes you get on?
Would you consider yourself a happy person?
If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?
What do you hope to achieve before you die?
Questions about their likes and dislikes
What’s your favourite movie?
What’s your favourite band?
What’s your favourite book?
What’s your favourite song?
Who’s your favourite author?
Who’s your favourite recording artist?
What’s your favourite food?
What’s your favourite alcoholic beverage?
Do you have any hobbies?
What’s your favourite animal?
Some fun questions
If you had to lose your arms or your legs which would you lose? (Unless they’re an amputee)
Describe yourself in three words or less
Where do you see yourself in five years time?
How would your best friend describe you?
Have you ever had any nicknames?
Of course these are all just examples of questions you can use during your first few dates to get the ball rolling. Don’t work through them in a checklist style or the conversation will seem stilted and forced. Instead let the conversation flow smoothly and follow up questions by talking around the subject – so you end up finding out more related things about a person. For example they might once have been in a circus, but if you don’t give them a chance to expand on their answers none of these questions will directly relate to that experience. Another little point to bear in mind is that not all of these questions are suitable for the first couple of dates. If your first question is ‘how many people have you slept with?’, followed by ‘have you ever lost anyone close to you?’ they will of course think you’re insane and leave. Don’t talk about previous relationships until the third date and don’t ask about sexual partners until you’ve established yourself as one. And then bear in mind that you will have to answer any of these questions yourself. You don’t want to be causing arguments here – they’re meant to be a bit of fun and a chance to learn about the other person.