Dealing with people who are quiet can be difficult in itself but when you are dating the person it can be even more challenging. The problem with quiet people is that you never really know what they are thinking. At times you almost want to shake them and ask then what is on their minds. The problem is this really will not help.
Some people are just quiet by nature and the only thing you can really do is learn new ways and means of opening your quiet guy up so that you can get those lines of communication going. There are several strategies when it comes to dealing with quiet guys and some of them may work better than others. However, be warned that some of the methods of dealing with a quiet guy can also backfire on you.
Try Initiating Conversation
Sometimes when you get together with your quiet guy you may notice that he hasn’t much to say at all other than the normal pleasantries. This can be very frustrating, especially if you are sitting across the table from him at a restaurant. The next time that happens try actually initiating an intriguing conversation, possibly even one that is on a topic you know he likes. Many times people are quiet because they are not good at being the ones to start the conversation. Maybe there is a part of him that is shy and afraid that he will say something silly or ridiculous. Often times the only thing you will have to do is get the ball rolling.
If you have been dating for sometime and you still notice that your guy is unusually quiet, or a man of few words, you could try coming right out and asking him why it is he never talks to you. There is a good chance he is unaware of the fact that his lack of conversation is bothering you. Many people are just day dreamers by nature. They sit and observe their surroundings and just do not believe in making small talk. You may or may not get a straight answer but at least you can ask.
Is Your Man Always Quiet?
Another thing to watch for is whether or not the guy you are dating is quiet all of the time or if he just has moods he gets into. Believe it or not some men become quiet when they are irritated about something, especially those who are passive aggressive. Some men cannot deal with showing their anger toward women in an appropriate way so they will choose to sit quietly instead. This is almost like the silent treatment. If you have a boyfriend or a man who you are dating that tends to get in quiet moods you may ask him if something is bothering him. This could cause an argument if he is in fact angry about something but it is probably far better than sitting there wondering what the issue is.
People From Low Key Families
There are many people who come from families that are not animated at all. There seems to be almost a void of personality in the home. There does not seem to be any specific reason for this it is just like this sometimes. If the man you are dating comes from a household such as this then you should let go of any illusions that he is going to change anytime soon. This quietness is probably ingrained so deeply in him that it would take a miracle to change him. You can either choose to accept that he is an over all quiet person or you can decide that it is bothering you so much that you cannot take it anymore. Just remember you own your feelings about how quiet he is. It is not up to him to change for you, it is up to you to decide if you can accept him the way he is.
Is Your Relationship Boring
This may hurt to accept but sometimes after a long period of time couples tend to find little to discuss. Your man may be more interested in watching the game than having a conversation with you. Do not feel that you are alone this happens often. This is especially hard in relationships that used to be very close at one point and have seemed to have drifted the two of you further apart. This happens in a lot of long term dating relationships. In this case you can either choose to do something drastic to try and rekindle the relationship or you can leave, the choice is yours. However, if your man does other things to show you he loves you then you just may need to realize that your relation ship has evolved and often that is what happens.
You may have a boyfriend who is great when it comes to talking to you when it is just you two but perhaps when he is in crowds he clams up. This is usually some level of social anxiety. Some people do not do well in crowds. If you notice that your date or boyfriend gets especially quiet when you are amongst friends do not push him to talk if he does not want to. There is nothing worse than being put on the spot or made the center of attention when you would much rather be invisible. Learn to read your man and know when to leave him alone. Chances are he will really appreciate you for that.
It sounds like the author thinks quiet people are abnormal; we are not! We're almost 25% of the population!