Every culture has its own customs and traditions when it comes to dating and relationships. If you are interested in dating a Mexican then there may be some things about the dating customs of Mexicans that you should be aware of. With this being said there are certain parts of the world such as the US in which American customs have somewhat worked to relax the Mexican dating rules. However, there are still a lot of Mexican people in Mexico as well as in the US that still expect their customs to be followed. For this reason, take a few minutes to learn about some of those customs. It might wind up paying off in the end.
Mexican Gender Roles
There is no doubt that this is one custom that seems to be prevalent whether you are living in the US and dating a Mexican or living in Mexico. The gender roles are very distinct in Mexican households. The women are taught to be much more soft-spoken and submissive while the men are the dominant figures in the home. This is one reason that you may notice a lot of fighting or arguing happening in mixed relationships, generally when the woman is white or American and the man is Mexican. American women are not really raised as the submissive creatures that Mexican women are. As a rule, American women seem to be very independent and free spirited and this can cause strife in a relationship in which the man is Mexican and the woman is not. In the same way it may take an American man some getting used to if he begins dating a Mexican woman who seems to want to cater to his every whim and submit to whatever decisions that he makes. Of course most men would not complain when faced with that situation.
Just about every lady who lives in close proximity to a Mexican community has heard the yelling, whistling and shouting that is sent their way by the Mexican men as they walk by. Yes, Mexican men love to flirt in that way but when it comes to someone they seriously like and would like to date they are usually much more respectful. Again, with the younger generation and the Americanizing of Mexicans this is not always going to be the case but we are talking about traditional Mexican dating values. Usually a Mexican man will be the first to make the move on the woman he wants to date but he will do it in a very sweet way such as bringing flowers. In addition, most Mexican men will insists on paying for the entire evening and a Mexican woman would very easily become offended or taken a back if asked to pay for her half of the evening when on a date with someone who is not of her culture.
Mexican Displays of Affection
Traditionally, Mexicans are not reserved when it comes to showing public displays of affection. They are very tender and sentimental and will not hesitate to hold hands, hug and kiss in public. In some other cultures this is frowned upon and so for some couple who are in a mixed relationship (Mexican to Non-Mexican) this could cause a little bit of a conflict. One person may be from a conservative Caucasian family who does not believe in public displays of affection while the other is from Mexico and has no trouble showing affection anywhere at all. In situations like this a compromise may become necessary. With all this being said, and this is also something that has changed a lot with younger generations of Mexicans, sex is not an automatic is no commitment has been made. Typically Mexicans wait until there is an engagement or even a wedding before they become sexually active when dating.
Mexican Men Believe in Providing
Mexican men are raised from a very young age to be the sole provider in the home. The woman tends to the children and that man brings the income in. For most women in the US this would be a dream come true, I do not have to work? I am going to be taken care of? In this culture it is almost unheard of, at least in younger generations. However, now put a Mexican woman who is used to being provided for in a relationship with a man who is used to his girlfriend paying half the bills each month. It is easy to see how this might not work out very well.
What About Mixed Cultural Relationships?
None of this is to say that are not mixed cultural relationships everywhere that work out just fine. The key is in figuring out together what the differences bare in terms of culture and working them out. The truth is it does not matter who you fall in love with, there is always a way to work out any and all cultural difference. Sometimes it just takes work and patience. Dating Mexicans for the most part is no different than dating anyone else once you learn the customs and traditions they are used to. If two people are really into each other then they will find a way to make their differences work to their advantage so that a sort of harmony can be achieved.
There is no culture on this earth that does not have its own rules and customs. While the US may be the most slack when it comes to dating rules, there are even some things in the US that are considered typical, such as the man paying for the first date or being the first to call. In reality dating is about the same everywhere. Two people meet, they enjoy each other and they find a way to make it work regardless of what kind of odds may be against them.
The article was good but for anyone wishing to use the tips with a Mexican do keep in mind Mexico is a country of different social, economic and race backgrounds. To put one set of rules would be like putting one set of rules on Americans from the Hamptons and from Brooklyn. The dating rules described here would apply very much to working class Mexican. They tend to be the ones who go to the US illegally, are of darker skin etc. If you are looking to date a Mexican of higher class or higher-middle class the customs are very different. A Mexican lady of this background would generally tend to be highly educated with a college degree and if her parents are rich would have spent a year abroad. Not all girls of this background are rich but belong to this class because of how they were educated and in most cases their cousins would be rich. Of course this also applies the other way around not all rich girls are brought up in the same way as some could be "ricos nuevos" basically new money. You learn from your parents.
So the dating rules. A girl of this class would have a job which could pay well but if it does not she would still have a trust fund so economically speaking she would be well of. In most cases it is expected for the guy to pay for the first date, and maybe even all the others but I she could offer to contribute. In most cases it is a safer bet to let her decide as you don't want to come across as rude.
Mexican displays of affection; in general no matter what the background, Mexicans are very affectionate, this can be seen in the way they greet. However among many Mexicans they tend to live with their parents until they marry. The girls leave the house dressed in white. Virginity is seen as very important. Typically you can guess how far a girl is willing to go before marriage by how Catholic she is as many view premarital sex as a sin. This does not apply to all women, but it does to a great majority. For that reason I would not recommend pressuring sex.
Mexican flirtation; the second half of the article is fairly accurate with all Mexican however something that was not mentioned which I feel compiled to do so is that with all Mexicans it is quite common for the man to bring serenade to the lady under her window.
While the first half does apply to some Mexicans it does not apply to the ones described above. I lived in Mexico many years and continue to visit. Yet I have never seen a man yell, shout or whistle at a woman. Like the article said this is done when walking and in Mexico it is extremely rare to see a well-off woman or man on the streets. If this were to happen it would be considered extremely rude and as so a man would never do it. Unless he is a builder.
Flirtation normally tends to be with smiles, laughs, un-important conversation and with mobile numbers exchanged.
Mexican gender roles; the male would tend to be the biggest provider. A woman may decide to continue working especially within this new generation. If she's a doctor, lawyer or has a good job she will probably continue to do so. Of course there are many who would become full-time housewife. However if she came from a good family her idea of a housewife and yours are very different. She would expect to have at least one maid and while she would actively be involved in her children's upbringing she might leave them with a nanny. Growing up in Mexico I saw many different types of mothers, some would leave there children mainly with their nanny while they traveled the world while other would dedicate their lives to their children and husbands. Rarer still were parents like mine. I was from a mixed-relationship couple. My mother, like her mother and sisters before her, did not know how to cook when she married as she never had any need for it. While my mamma gave up her full-time job she then became both a full-time mother and self employed so she could work at home. My dad then retired early and became self-employed for that reason both my parents were actively involved in my upbringing. It is very rare for Mexican fathers to be very involved. While many Mexican mother travel is very rare for them to bring their children with them everywhere like mine did.
So if you marry a Mexican woman who says she wants to be a housewife your best bet is to look at her mother to see what her idea of a housewife is!
This is a very poorly written article. The author has shown a mind-numbing ignorance of the topic at hand, and fails to refrain from being overly broad and not conducting proper research. Mexican men who flirt by shouting are seen as disrespectful. The images in this article are racially insensitive and inaccurate. Mexican women do NOT EXPECT to be taken care of. While Mexican men are usually the breadwinners of the family, this does not mean women are forbidden from working. It is also vital to note that Mexican culture places a huge emphasis on the importance of family. This is all coming from an actual Mexican.
I do have one issue with this article… how come the writer only point out to Caucasian Americans when it comes to interracial dating with Mexicans? I've known blacks and Asians to date Mexicans regardless of gender. I just thought that was a little odd. Caucasian Americans are not the only non-Hispanic group of people who date Mexicans. So if you're the writer of this article reading this comment please bear that in mind.
Otherwise great information shared.
I am in love with a nice Latina that smiles every time we see each other. Divorce has broken my finances. I have not even gone on a date in over 3 years. This nice lady barley speaks English but she is quiet and one of my friends tells me she is single. I am a white male and I only know bad words in Spanish. I have a difficult decision as I really want to go on a date with this nice lady. I fear divorce and kids will scare her off.
I am dating a Mexican man, same age as me, and he is nothing like you say in your article. It could not be any more opposite.
Very unfulfilling article, not much information.
This seems geared to old school Mexicans. Most Mexican American are about the same as any other American. Two incomes seem the norm for American families regardless of their background. Get with it my friend and though Mexican girls are generally more sweet and submissive than 'white girls' they tend to be more modest and do not go in for public displays of affection as much as the Wilder Whitefield.
This article will be more accurate for older generations. Even young people in Mexico are not as old fashioned as explained in this article. Women are not submissive and most will work and contribute to pay bills although men will still be expected to be the main provider. One thing that is true is that Mexican women will expect you to pay for dates.
The article was great!! So much detail!!
It is a very good article!
I am a Mexican woman and I honestly find this article ridiculous and inaccurate. This doesn't even apply to the majority of Mexicans this is just the false idea held by most people. Just because I am a Mexican woman doesn't mean I have to be approached in a certain way. I want to be approached in a way any other person would be regardless of race. I am like any other person.
I think this is more for people (like me) who are white and don’t understand why their boyfriend/girlfriend who is Mexican act a certain way. Of course everyone is different in every culture, but there are some cultures where (most of the time) there is a basic set of rules.
This is so true. All of it. And not only that I have been with Mexicans before and I got to say that it is really hard because you have to learn about their customs and not only that they learn about your customs also!
Thanks for this article, Colleen. I am early in dating a Mexican woman and am frantically searching for reasons why I can't understand why she's doing things the way she's doing. The one part that really helped was when you mentioned that most Mexican women do not partake in sexual relations until an act of engagement or even marriage. Though, I don't know how traditional she is because we had sex the first time we met. She might have been desperate since she's an au pair and very busy away from home, being in NY.
Again, my thanks to you. Happy holidays!
Great article. Agree in every part of it. Also I know many Mexicans who date or marry Caucasian or Hispanic/American women, but always women with a similar sweet and submissive background, in fact, true Mexicans usually do not date black women who are considered way too different, both physically and mentally. True Mexicans don't like blacks and vice versa. (While Puerto Ricans do because already a mixed black Hispanic race).
We are not raised to be submissive, ask any Mexican women. We stand our ground in a relationship.
I totally agree with this article. I’ve been in 2 real relationships. And they're only Caucasians and I know their race and languages well. I always flirt with Caucasians. Mexican women on the other hand don't flirt with me. They make me hurt and fall in love quick and break up. I grew up in a Spanish community, they try hard to make me not happy cause of my lifestyle and I'm too nice for them. Mexican women want bad men. While my most favorite Caucasian women are welling me chances to know me better and become good friends before getting into something really serious for lifetime. And they treat me with great respect no matter how old they are old or young. I have always been a fan and flirter with them since I was little. Cause I want a relationship like in the movies not fighting and drama all the time. Only time I want a fight to occur is if we can't agree on something and we try to work it out.
Interesting Baba. I actually came here as a black woman because I keep getting approached by Mexican men and thought I needed at least some guidelines. I agree that we are very different physically but I'm still attractive as are they, you just have to be daring enough to try something different. I was raised by parents that are old fashion so I am looking for many of these values in men. I am very sweet and I wouldn't describe myself as submissive but I get along well with others and Mexican men pick up on these things. Plus I can speak a great deal of Spanish which is a big plus for them. When judging a race know there is always the good and the bad. You mention black women at their worse but black women at their best are beautiful, supportive, have wonderful personalities, very loyal and tend to be low maintenance and share the financial load. It's not accurate to say what you said the same as it's not accurate for Donald Trump to say all Mexicans are rapist.
This makes so much since, I wish I read this earlier when I was in my relationship. It would have helped a lot.
I have been dating a Mexican for about 2 years and we’re so attracted to each other that it breaks my heart every time that he has to go back to be with his family and I met him at work so he was here on a work visa you didn’t come back this year at every time I see his friends I asked about him and then finally he added me to Facebook and we’ve been talking ever since then but the only thing of it is he’s married and he has three kids.
Please honey, go away from this guy. Save yourself, save your soul.
I know the attraction you’re talking about, I actually have this too with my sexy Mexican man, but nothing is more important than you’re respect for yourself. He doesn’t respect you obviously, so you have to respect yourself twice more. With the info you’ve put up, you will not win anything from this, only end up with a broken heart. Remember, these men are overexposed to drama in their relationship, he doesn’t suspect that you would be really emotionally affected by his actions. He can’t anticipate your reaction and can’t understand as for un the moment how you could possibly feel towards him.
Take care of yourself xx
Mexican-American man, 70 in San Miguel Allende Mex. 2-2020
Not very many single women in small towns that want to date. Big cities, is another story. I have been so pleasantly surprised to have a cornucopia of older women available to me. From 50 up, kids never go away but, women manage them well and out of the way. Depends on whether or not you want to meet them. Perfectly ok to say not now honey. Later. They might take offense but if you say later you’ll postpone the inevitable judgement.
Sex, if your horny, look for a woman that has similar desires, lots of them. If you are and they say marry me first, your more stupid than you look. Why do you think they will become Raquel Welch after you marry them. Ha ha. By then they got the key to your house and your car. It happens too often. Here and the US.
I have met several women and continue to meet that are so saintly but at the moment of truth, me saying adios and I put the sex question on early. I am blown away.
Remember, here as well as in other parts of the world. Men die young. They work themselves to death to support the wife and children. A recent stat. (US men between the ages of 55-59, 80% are obese), that’s worse in Mexico. The women meanwhile are chill. Lots, very nicely maintained. Don’t work, go to the gym, eat well. Children are gone.
Good luck to the men and to the women who have survived this far. Sex is fun, better. Just ask.