All of us have off days, and even if we’re the happiest people on the planet we will generally admit to feeling a bit like life is pointless on the odd occasion.
Most of us still feel that on the whole, for the most part, life is a glorious gift and full of surprises. It’s only when this feeling of pointlessness or hopelessness continues, when you feel permanently ‘fed up’ of life, that something is wrong – if you don’t enjoy life itself then you will stand to get little enjoyment out of anything you do. If it all seems ‘pointless’, or all of it is hard/stressful/depressing, then nothing you can do will bring much enjoyment and it will be hard to feel motivated. Not only is this bad for you, but it can also mean that your relationships and your career suffer as a result.
Why Are You Fed Up?
The first thing to ask yourself is why you are fed up with life. There are many possible reasons, and you are certainly not alone in this thought. As mentioned before, the majority of people will have at some point felt fed up with life, and this tends to be for a number of reasons.
Stress is one common reason to be fed up with life. If you feel like you’re being pulled in every direction and you have too much going on, then this will be something that affects you 24/7 and not just when you are in the presence of whatever the stressor is. It’s hard to let go of anxiety and if this is something you are feeling all the time, then it can feel as though life is too stressful and just something that will get you down – rather than something to enjoy and explore.
Things Going Wrong
Sometimes it can feel like everything is going wrong – like you are God’s punching bag and one thing falls through for you after another. Maybe you just got dumped by a long term partner, only to lose your job, or to have your card details stolen. This is very similar to the stress cause, but essentially if you feel like everything you build up just gets knocked down and everything you try just goes wrong, then it can feel a bit pointless trying in the first place.
Existentialism is the concept that we are alone in the universe and that there is no God and no higher purpose to life. Certainly even for those with belief systems sometimes the universe can seem a bit mysterious and the motives behind events can seem a bit mysterious. For others who have not formulated a hypothesis for what life is about, this can go a lot further and the whole thing can seem like a pointless exercise. When you really think about it we don’t know why we are here or what we are here for, and there’s a chance that when we die it will all be over. It’s understandable that these heady subjects can sometimes be enough to take some of the joy and motivation out of life.
Sometimes there won’t be an obvious reason why you’re fed up of life, but it can feel as though you are just viewing the world through a gray fog that takes away the vibrancy and the excitement. You might feel lethargic and depressed and it may be that nothing quite gets you excited in the same way. This suggests perhaps that you are suffering with depression or a mood disorder and there can be many reasons that this is the case whether it’s due to a loss such as bereavement, a chemical imbalance, or seasonal affective disorder.
Sometimes it just feels like we’re stuck in a rut and like we’re spinning our wheels. Perhaps we had great aims for our life and high hopes – maybe we wanted to be a rock star or an actor – but now it is just sinking in that this is unlikely to happen. Perhaps we’re just bored of the same job, the same routine and an apparent lack of progress. This is often the trigger for a mid life crisis or depression.
Why You Shouldn’t Be Fed Up With Life
However to be fed up with life is a terrible shame and it means being fed up with everything. When you think about the size of the universe and the beauty of everything in it, then it’s preposterous to suggest that you can be fed up with all of it. Life is filled with limitless possibilities and we are completely free to explore them. It might not feel like it, but that is the reality.
We don’t know the meaning of life yet, or whether there indeed is one, but that is what gives us the freedom to create our own meaning and to create our own purpose. That’s what makes us free and individual rather than all just working toward one goal. That’s the only way it should be.
You then need to create your own purpose, one that gives you fulfillment and happiness. Whether that means creating art that you can leave behind for the world after you’re gone, whether it means living life full throttle and getting as many experiences out of it as you possibly can, or whether it means spending time to raise your children and develop your relationships so that you help them to get the most of life and so that you are remembered by the people closest to you. That said traveling is a great way to shake the feelings of being fed up of life as a change of scene can get you away from life’s stresses, while also helping you to see some more of what the world has to offer you.
At the same time you need to make the most of your freedom and to explore. This doesn’t have to necessarily mean traveling; but exploring everything else the world has to offer by meeting new people, reading books, learning new subjects and exploring yourself. If you don’t enjoy your job then it can feel like your life is pointless – but this is only true if you define yourself by your job. First of all, there’s never anything to stop you from changing careers, and even if you have a family to support you can look for work in the evenings for half an hour. It’s just the act of trying to progress that will bring you fulfillment.
But then why get your purpose or feeling of progress from work at all? Why not learn programming and build the next Google or Facebook? Why not learn to write and write a book? Why not learn to act and then start being an extra in adverts or in stage productions. You can become a writer just by putting pen to paper – even if you aren’t paid you’re still a writer and you’ll still get a feeling of accomplishment out of it and you’ll still have something that you’re proud of and that you can focus on. And it’s never too late to start any of these things – so don’t spend your time lamenting what you aren’t yet – just start working towards a solution today.
How to Feel Better
Hopefully that bit of pep talk has helped you to realize that life doesn’t have to be all about the mundane routine of daily life, or about the stresses that seem so predominant. However in order to real shake the feelings of tiredness you need to now act on that and go out there and start working on a new skill, joining a club, booking a trip, or deciding what your life purpose is.
This won’t help everyone though, and if you are struggling with an unbearable living conditions, or if you have a hormone imbalance causing chronic depression, then it will take more to tackle the problem. If that describes you, then do take the time to try and come up with a purpose in your life, and to involve yourself in learning new skills or taking up classes, but also use some of the following methods to supplement this:
See a Therapist/Psychiatrist
A therapist can help with many cases of depression. For instance a cognitive behavioral therapist can teach you to eliminate damaging destructive thoughts that might be fueling your feelings of being fed up. A psychiatrist on the other hand may prescribe antidepressants which can help you to get your hormones in check while you address the causes of the problem. Even going to rehab and taking some time out of your day to day life can be a great way to get some respite and to deal with your issues. If you are at all having thoughts of death then it is crucial that you seek medical help and tell people what you are going through.
Address the Stressors
If your life is being brought down by a few specific issues, then spend some serious time thinking about how you might be able to address these stressors and start to feel better. That might mean changing job, getting out of an abusive relationship, or looking at your finances. Again don’t be shy to ask for help where it’s available.
Make Lifestyle Changes
Some lifestyle changes can improve your feelings of depression or stress. For instance working out more often can help to provide you with more energy and trigger the release of endorphins (feel good hormones), while eating the correct diet can have similar effects, as can getting more sunlight. Installing something like a ‘daylight lamp’ can help you to get natural sunlight in your home and is particularly useful if you suffer from seasonal affective disorder.
Learn to Control Stress
If it’s stress that’s making you feel low then know that there are several ways you can combat this. Seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist can help teach you some techniques, and may employ biofeedback so that you can get immediate feedback on how successful your attempts to control stress have been. The ability to be able to shut yourself off and to leave stress behind is an invaluable one though, and it means that your stressors don’t have to affect your every waking hour.